Don't touch this
by Pan Head number 1
Summary: Eragon and Spaphira are hurtled to middle earth hilarity ensues


Disclaimer: I own nothing at all really in this Fanfic

Summery: Read it first

Don't touch this 

Once upon a time, the characters of many fantasy worlds were all thrown together at the whim of an author up to late at night. Aragorn was walking in an enchanted wood with Arwen when he was a young guy. Suddenly Eragon and Saphira appear.

Arwen: Dragon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aragorn: Foul beast! Come no closer!

Eragon: Who are you!

Aragorn: I am Aragorn son of Arathorn Ranger of the north!

Eragon: I am Eragon son of well I don't know yet! And you best tell me what a man is doing in Du Weldenvarden!

Saphira: (The girl is an elf)

Eragon: (Still they could be for Galbatorix)

Aragorn: What are you talking about young knave-(Saphira roars) Eragon son of who knows who?

Author: This is in Eldest Eragon hasn't found out the big secret we all saw coming

Aragorn: Are you an agent of Souron?

Eragon: Are you an agent of Galbatorix?

Arwen: Galbawho?

Aragorn: I know nothing of Galbanorix

Eragon: It's Galbatorix! Who the heck is Sour on?

Aragon: It's Souron you idiot! (Saphira roars)

Aragorn: Sorry, you young boy.

Eragon: I killed Durza my name is Eragon Shadeslayer.

Author: You may have killed him but only with a lot of help

Eragon: Ya I guess

Author: I'm bored POOF!

(Harry Potter as well as Voldemort and Ron show up)

Harry: Expeliarmus!

Voldemort: Avada Kedavra!

Ron: I just live here.

Aragorn: Who are you and why are you saying those strange words.

Voldemort: Avada Kedavra! (At Aragorn, nothing happens)

Harry: This must be a place of beauty and love

Aragorn: In fact this place prevents any magic from being used

Ron: O crap

Voldemort: My Horcruxes won't work here I'm mortal

(Harry and Ron snigger)

Voldemort: What

Author: I'm bored again POOF (Elphaba and Glinda show up)

Elphaba: BRING ME DOWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Galinda: I Hope you're happy

Elphaba: Bring me DOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNN (Saphira snorts and the fire singes Elphaba broom causing her to fall.

Glinda: Elphie, where are we?

Elphaba: I don't know but it must be better than Oz

Glinda: Elphie, I'm scared

Aragorn: (whispering to Arwen) it's an orc and it's holding that poor girl hostage

Elphaba: Who are you people?

(Jonas Brothers Appear appears)

Jonas Brothers: Live to party bust you're moves (Bolt of lightning strikes them killing all of them)

Random Fan girl: You killed the Jonas Brothers

Saphira: Good riddance

Fan Girl cries so much Glinda hits her with her wand and Fan girl is knocked out.

Aragorn: Die you miserable creature! (Attacks Elphaba, Elphaba hurls Aragorn back 10 feet)

Elphaba: This is just like Oz

Aragorn: What new devilry is this?

Boromir: That's my line!

Aragorn: I just stole it (Drop kicks Boromir back to Gondor)

Glinda: Elphie, what are we going to do?

Elphaba: I don't know Miss Uphi- (Elphaba is slapped across the face)

Eragon: Everybody calm down, this Author person has us all here for a reason

Author: My own enjoyment

Eragon: So we have to do funny stuff that will sate her thirst

Saphira: I could get drunk

Eragon: Safe funny stuff

(Aragorn does a handstand)

Eragon: What was that for?

Aragorn: I don't know I felt like it

Eragon: Sure

Elphaba: Glinda teach them the words to no one mourns the Wicked (Suddenly the people of Oz arrive)

People of Oz: Wickedness must be punished! Evil must be eliminated! Wickedness must be punished for Good!

Elphaba: Gotta go. (She and Glinda leave followed by the people of Oz yelling for her death.

(Aragorn does another handstand)

Eragon: Seriously Aragorn?

(Hannah Montana appears singing a terrible pop edition of can't touch this)

Hannah Montana: Da Na Na Na Na Na Na do do do can't touch this!

(Syler from Heroes arrives and cuts Hannah's head open)

Syler: Yes I can

Eragon: Thank Aglasia that was terrible

Syler: What you're power

(Aragorn sneaks up behind Syler and cuts him in half)

The people of Oz reappear

People of Oz: Good news! He's dead! The mass murder is dead! The worst character ever created! The bane of poor Claire's existence is dead! Good news!

The people leave carrying Syler.

Aragorn: (Throws sword at Author) Are you done yet!

Arwen: May the power of the Valar protect you Aragorn!

Aragorn: I love you (They kiss)

Ron: At least it's not my sister

Harry: Shut it

Voldemort: (Looks menacing) I demand you to release me!

Author: But I haven't even gotten to other worlds such as POOF

(Peter Susan Edmund and Lucy pop in)

Peter: Spare Room is a strange land indeed

Lucy: I remembered wrong Pete

Aragorn: Who are you?

Saphira: This night is strange; wake me if you need me

Eragon: Go to bed and leave me to deal with these people

Saphira: I heard that

Peter: Greetings, my name is High king Peter the Magnificent

Edmond: King Edmond the just

Susan: Queen Susan the gentle

Lucy: Queen Lucy the

Author: Crap I've forgotten

Lucy: Cute little baby of the family

Aragorn: Aragorn son of Arathorn a ranger of the north

Voldemort: I am He who must not be named the Dark Lord and you know who!

Big God head from Monty Python appears and yells

Big God Head: Get on with it!

Harry: His name is Tom

Voldemort: No my name is

Lucy: Hi Tom

Voldemort: I should have listened to Dumbledore

Ron: Ya think?

Eragon: Okay at least we might be it

Author: POOF

Ron: Not again (Belgarath appears with Aunt Pol, Garion and Mandolloren)

Belgarath: Garion, what did you do?

Garion: Nothing Mister Wolf honest

Pol: He probably wouldn't even know he was doing it

Mandolloren: And who is this someone that I might challenge blades with?

Aragorn: I am Aragorn son of Arathorn and I will strike you down

Belgarath: I didn't know Arends migrated

Pol: Be nice father

(Mandolloren and Aragorn fall to the ground)

Arwen: Men!

Saphira: Can I go home yet

Eragon: No, we have more people.

Saphira: Dang it

Elphaba returns with Glinda

Elphaba: I won I don't believe it

Aragorn: It's the orc!

Elphaba: O stop that

Belgarath: Who are you?

Elphaba: I'm Elphaba

Belgarath: I'm the sorcerer Belgarath and I can

Pol: Stop that father.

Elphaba: Do this (Sends Belgariad Bunch back to Eddings world)

Eragon: Send us back please????????

Elphaba: Okay

Author: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

End of story.

8


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